Think about the intent- Why would I want to focus on "meeting" people

You naturally meet people doing shit you like, or you don't. That's life. Anyone wants to talk to me, they can. I don't care. I don't have "anxiety." That's a feeling of shame that I "should" talk. Fuck off. I'll talk if I feel like it. Maybe you're boring? Maybe I'm not in the mood?

There's no magical answer I'll "find" by going on a mystical journey "out there." They're just me. Just edited with slight variations. They don't have anything I don't already have. 

I mean I kinda went on one. 

The world is best served by me being happy. Period. 

So yes. I'm moving back in with my crazy girlfriend and my baby. Fuck off. 

That's how I thrive. That's how I be authentic.

What was so bad about Tess. Her words. Which became mythologized as shit like psychic attacks and black magic. Which is a metaphor for how "powerful" those mean words were. 

But that's the point. Magic's not real. It's in your head. 

So. Yeah sure ultimately it was me who let your shitty words effect me so much. But ya know. You're a regular person. Most people are just dumb and say whatever. It's in the past. 

The torturer and the torturee, both participating in an illusion.

"Haha, i-is this a manic thing? Oh God, no Mr. ID Channel Killer, oh fuck--" shut up lol.

Or be stupid and Charlee and I will be in the pool every day. You know kids have summer vacation right. So you're getting her used to a non-accurate routine by making her go to daycare every day in the summer... Routine is important.

I got all the evil out of me already. I don't care where it came from. 

If you lied to everyone and me and pretend not to want me to come back, for whatever stupid bullshit narrative reason, it's probably cause you know mentally you can't fuck with me. So. It'll be funny to see what you say. 

I don't fucking feel good making fun of you, the fuck. I don't like it. But i can lightly talk shit back casually. And not listen to your really negative bullshit. 

So. I don't know. 

You think by keeping me out, it's gonna make me go write what, a Slim Shady LP. Write my version of the song "Kim." And I'll attain some kind of success and we all benefit and blah blah blah. 

No. That shit already exists. I'm not Eminem. I'm me. I'm God.

I'm honestly kinda bored and they're doing some kid bullshit in the pool so I'm just ranting.

You want me to care best for Charlee, you want what's best for Charlee, you already know. Stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to God. 

It's so hot out here. 

I can't wait to talk to you and tell you the truth. It'll be very interesting to see how you react. Or if you just ignore me. Whatever the outcome. I rise higher. 

I got my wings. 

Time for you to get yours. 

The perspective doesn't get higher than this. 

I made fun of the world enough. It's boring now. 

I buried my best friend today. 

I'm not sad at all. I'm not like everyone else. He's in Heaven. Where we're all going. 

Writing about how shit life is, i got all that out. I'm at my peak. You can't go higher than the top. I'm never changing. 

So. Will Tess pick the cliche predictable route? Or will she choose to rise I don't care what you say I'm moving back in. 

I went through hell on earth worse than your wildest dreams and i have a smile on my face. You do what i say now. No more hurting the baby. 

So there's a pool party so I'm bored cause i can't do anything. Pool wise. 

There's a nice lookin hoe to the right. Like red braids or something. Tatted up. Super light skin.

But like. Yeah. I don't care at all. Nice to look at. But no. I don't want anything. I'm not impressing anybody. I want my family back. 

The lesson i learned was, mother fuckers don't know how stupid they are, it's your responsibility to tell them. Especially if you're way smarter than them. 🤷‍♂️  That's how you work through things. 

They might not know how retarded they are. My assumption was that people knew. I don't know why. So i wouldn't defend myself because i was like "Heh heh okay... certainly they're not stupid enough to think the things they're saying are true. Even though their actions are in line with that stupidity... oh they're still going... hm... well at this point I just feel bad if I correct them."

Basically

"Yeah, the pot calling the kettle black."

"Yes, I am a strong black woman"  like come on man. I don't like making fun of you. But I will. If you talk shit i can be retarded too. 

This isn't a Jeff Dawson-esque manic "Omg i just realized the truth let me choke Monica out then marry her!!"

This is a calm, clear mind. That sees through all the bullshit. 

Life is short. I've changed. I shook all the nonsense off. And I'm not changing further. 

All your thoughts and theories about me--- Tess---- were just. So incredibly wrong. I'm happy to explain to you. Or. Just play your role and do what I say. Talk to you soon.