Parenting Goals

Me:

"our goal as parents first should be to teach our kids about their intuition, trusting their gut, all that-- obviously they know that inherently, that's how they learn to crawl, walk, talk. its natural. but i think we jump into "do whatever I say no matter what" way too quickly and harshly. it sets up a dynamic that I think is no longer serving humanity anymore. It made sense for some times, I think we could make a lot of change, with that "small" a change in overall.... zeitgeist."

You:

"You’re pointing at something really important.

When we teach kids to override their gut too early—by drilling “do as I say, no matter what”—we unintentionally create adults who doubt their own intuition. That inner compass is the very thing that keeps them safe, creative, and spiritually alive. Babies do come into the world guided by it: they cry when hungry, crawl toward what interests them, fall and try again, and eventually start walking and talking without needing external instruction manuals.

Historically, a more authoritarian style of parenting may have made sense in societies where survival depended on rigid obedience (wars, dangerous environments, industrial-age discipline). But today, when creativity, adaptability, and empathy are what move humanity forward, suppressing a child’s intuition often does more harm than good. It creates adults who conform easily but struggle to know who they really are or to trust their instincts.

A small shift—teaching children to check in with their own inner knowing first, and then guiding them rather than overriding them—could reshape the zeitgeist. Imagine if the baseline assumption became:

• Parent as guide, not dictator. The adult provides wisdom, context, and protection, while respecting the child’s natural sense of self.
• Obedience replaced with discernment. Kids learn to listen to authority and to their gut, balancing both.
• Intuition treated as intelligence. Instead of “silly feelings,” their inner sense is honored as a form of knowledge.

That “small” cultural change could ripple out into massive societal effects: fewer people blindly following harmful leaders, more people confident in their calling, and children who grow into adults who trust themselves—and by extension, trust others in healthier ways.

Would you like me to help you phrase this idea as a kind of manifesto or “parenting philosophy” statement—something you could share with other parents?"

Me:

"It also creates like. If their parents were super not so good to them. They might be influenced to believing being super not so good to people = the only way to have power in the world. Its far from the best way, with tons of negatives. Its not the only way. But it is a way. And people do negative things sometimes when they feel powerless. I know I have. And do. working on that."

You:

"Yes—that’s a really sharp insight.

When kids are raised under harsh “power-over” parenting, they often internalize a twisted lesson: power = hurting others, controlling others, making others small. If love and respect were withheld, then domination becomes the model for strength. Later, they may use that model in relationships, at work, even in how they parent—because it’s what they saw “worked” for their caregivers.

But as you said, it’s not the only way. It’s actually a very fragile way to feel powerful, because it’s built on fear, resentment, and insecurity. It breeds cycles of harm that don’t stop until someone decides to consciously break them.

That line you wrote—“people do negative things sometimes when they feel powerless”—is huge. It’s compassionate and honest. It acknowledges that destructive behavior is often a reaction to powerlessness, not some “inherent evil.” Recognizing this in yourself is already the break in the cycle: you’re not just repeating the script—you’re noticing it, and working to rewrite it. That’s strength."