Let them wait.

You're not on anybody else's schedule. People will always want more. Just like girlfriends. Trying to please them is a recipe for misery. 

YOU take care of you. No one else is going to give a damn, unless you're lucky enough to have some people in your life who care. 

Sometimes the person who cares the most about you is the least able to help. 

I was in a state where I was beat down, for years, by someone. Someone I was in love with who I planned to marry. I took it as a personal failure that things didn't work out, when clearly, they didn't work out because of her. She wasn't ready. She never will be. 

No man alive could take the daily emotional beat downs I took with the grace I did. I still had a smile on my face. I still worked hard. Even though all that took such a toll on me. I said, I'm a man, I can handle it. 

Not letting me touch her. 

Then SHE'S the one who cheats?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Like, when does it end?

Well, it doesn't. 

Mrs. "Nope, I'm going to the clinic!"  is now telling, the judge in a court of law that I go into "manic" phases and I "forget what I say."

That is literally what she would do.

At Virginia Beach was one of the times. After yelling at me about drinking tap water, sorry, and sitting on the floor at the hotel, sorry, somehow she got to sex with me is boring. This is the person who doesn't let me do nothing with her ass, doesn't "like head," barely lets me suck her titties or eat her pussy, who when I fucked her "too hard" she had flashbacks to her childhood molestation, so I was trying to be more gentle from then on because that shit scarred me for life. 

And this is the person who barely ever lets me touch her.

No kissing, no foreplay, maybe 30 seconds of it, she licks her hand, rubs her pussy, immediate insertion. 

So sex with ME is boring?

She doesn't exist in the real world. She exists in "My dad abandoned me and I hate men so every word that comes out of my mouth is about hurting the target of my unfaced shadow because I'm a pussy."

That's where she lives. 

That shit hurt. It hurt because it's like, how can I possibly stay with such a dumb fucking person? But we already have a child together. Can she really change?

I guess i was foolish and naive to have hope. 

But even then, i left in decent spirits, focused on my own life. Focused on starting over. But nope. She had other plans. 

At the time, the excuse was, she claimed I was an alcoholic. I stopped drinking when I left her, gee whiz, think there's a fucking coincidence? I spared her the energy she was owed and turned it on myself and damaged my own body. I was wrong for that. I should have put her in her place long ago. This male martyrdom nonsense was really baked in. I'm pretty sure it's all washed out of me now. 

Now of course, there's a new excuse. There's always a new excuse. To hide the fact that she's a bitter, spiteful, vengeful cunt. 

Hurting her own daughter to get back at me.

All it's doing is making me fucking mad. 

Our daughter will read everything I've ever wrote regarding this. We'll laugh at you together. When this is all over and you're a laughing stock. And the 2 of us are reunited and happy. 

You ought to be ashamed of yourself. But you can't experience shame. 

My mother almost cried in the court room, asking you, why can't we see our grand daughter?

Your punk ass was QUIET.

Little bitch.

Keep those eyes forward.

Do what you're told. 

This isn't gonna end well for you.