where do you draw the line

Between deliberately administering pain to wake someone up- to liberate them-

and abusing someone?

Look at that through the other side of the coin. 

If you are victimized-- how much of a responsibility do you have to fight back? To stand up to your attackers?

Vs. taking the high road? Shaking it off knowing that it only made you stronger?

Don't you have a responsibility to inform others, to warn others? To try to hold people who do bad things accountable?

If the limitations of the body- identifying with the body-- the illusion of our one little ego being all that we are--- if those are truly the shackles they seem to be, and pain is the only path to free is from that-- then... what are we all bitching about?

In fact, if we all just... caused each other tremendous pain, globally, wouldn't that mean we would collectively all overcome the illusion of separation quicker?

But I'm crazy for thinking this?

This is the logical evolution of what has been taught to me. 

Truthfully. Some of our minds are, for some reason, wired to pedestalize people. Some of our minds understand some kind of hierarchy. Fake as it is. Harmful as it is. 

That's me. I know it's me. It's not my real self. It's something felt at a young age. Your mind finds evidence for what it believes, doesn't it. Via the reticular activation system. 

False evidence appearing real. 

How do I know if I'm supposed to speak up about some global super fucked up conspiracy?

Or it's all bullshit, and no one cares, and... yeah, no one cares. 

I thought I was doing a good thing. It just felt like. So many people know what I'm going through. And I'm right about so many things. 

Like my family spying on me. But they were taught that from their piece of shit family. 

I've spoken up about that countless times, and none cared. So you guys are okay if someone did that to your child? Your son or daughter?

I was really brave for doing that. And it amounted to nothing. That was disappointing. 

With my child being taken away from me, and the judge pretty clearly being compromised/forced to make that nonsense ruling, I guess I see why American super heroes have secret identities. I see why they're fake. Because no other super heroes will protect them, when society tries to kill them for being super heroes, out in the open.

Which is a letdown. I don't like doing things in such a way. But I can't change everybody.

How do you know whether you're supposed to stand up and fight, because that's what you believe in, vs. letting it go, because it's an impossible fight, and you weren't meant to fight that battle, and it's just not going anywhere?

Isn't that giving up? Isn't that cowardly, isn't that setting a bad example for those who come after?

But. Letting go feels more accurate. 

I can't get truly mad about things I don't even know are true or not, probably. There's no point. And no one's exactly rushing to tell me anything. 

So I mean. The fuck. Fuck am I supposed to do? 

I guess that's why you let go. Sometimes there are forces way bigger than you at play. And no one wants to share, so. What can you do? 

I'm taking it easy. Without drugs. I'm getting my work done. I'm seeing things differently. 

I've said some crazy shit. I don't know whose read or heard what. Seems incredibly unfair. But speaking out about it didn't really do much. It almost seems like I was ignored. 

So what can you do? Gotta be like water. 

You are not your body. You are not your feelings. 

You are not your identity...